Feast of Fun – Glossary of Tips & Trends for 2011 (guest blog)

2009, Photo: Marsian De Lellis
2009, Photo: Marsian De Lellis

On January 28th, 2011, I guest blogged for Feast of Fun,  a Chicago-based LGBTQ comedy podcast and website hosted by Fausto Fernós and Marc Felion. I wrote Marsian’s Glossary of Tips and Trends for 2011 in conjunction with my appearance on Feast of Fun # 1319 – Trends and Predictions for 2011 where I predicted what 2011 would be like by looking at the headlines in 2010 and warping them into the future. Topics included RIPsters, GagaFlauge, pajama-jeans , cash cats and temporary face lifts.

From Feast of Fun:

What do Pajama Jeans say about the decline of American Imperialism, the weakening dollar, and the rise of China as both a super power and fashion center? When will the nightmare end? And what fashion atrocity will be next?

Pajamapocalypse

If you love stylish sexy jeans and you love soft comfy pajama bottoms, you want the best of both worlds. Get ready for pajama jeans. In 2011,  Snuggies = Out and Pajama Jeans = In.

I can already see an extended line of Pajama apparel including: Pajama Chaps, Pajama Cock Rings, Pajama Slings, Pajama-lined Croks, Pajama corsets, Victoria’s Secret Pajama lingerie and other knock-offs. Jeggins, leggings which are styled to look like tight denim jeans are another off-shoot of this trend, which I see as a disorder of the spirit. Conversely, leading into 2012, do not be suprised if we see a backlash, with pajamas made out of coarse fibers or uncomfortable material such as denim, burlap, or unprocessed leather scraps. Keep an eye out for related items like adult-slipper socks and a new fetish community, Adult Toddlers, spawned from Adult-Babies. We are interested in hearing from any of our fashion forward listeners from the Adult Baby community in the comments section.

Friendship Addiction & The Smallwood Effect

Whether you call it Facebook Endowment or Anti-Size Queens, small is the new big. A significant number of people are valuing quality of connectedness over quantity of contacts.  A growing contingent of social media users are proud of small friend numbers and see low numbers as something to be admired, vetting out each new friend as supposed to mindlessly adding more contacts. Scientists have conducted research to see how many friends a person’s brain can manage and not everyone is going to like the findings. In 5,000 friends on Facebook? Scientists prove 150 is the most we can cope with:

The Facebook obsession of amassing ‘friends’ creates the impression that some users are wildly more sociable than others. But while we may be able to count 5,000 friends on the online social networking site, scientists have shown that humans’ brains are capable of managing a maximum of just 150 friendships.

Oxford University Professor Robin Dunbar has conducted a study of social groupings throughout the centuries, from neolithic villages to modern office environments.

His findings, based on his theory ‘Dunbar’s number’, developed in the 1990s, asserts that size of the part of the brain used for conscious thought and language, the neocortex, limits us to managing 150 friends, no matter how sociable we are. . .

. . .Dunbar’s findings, due to be published this year, will be welcomed by psychologists who warn that Facebook is driving a worrying trend of ‘friendship addiction’ causing insecurity in those who use it.

Addictions expert David Smallwood claims that many who use Facebook become hooked on the urge to acquire more friends in an attempt to appear popular and successful.

RIPsters & Textbitchuaries

Social media users who have the compulsive need to be the first to announce the obituary of a deleb (dead celebrity). The vulture-culture of sick star watchers who swarm around ailing celebrities like Arethra Franklin, Penny Marshal, or even Elizabeth Edwards waiting for them to die so that they can be the first in their Social Network to post or tweet their obitiuary or textbitchuary. My shock and horror upon getting the news of The King of Pop’s untimely passing via text led me to come up with these words. I recently learned that when Phil Nye the science guy passed out in public,  people were too busy tweeting about his demise to help him.

[It appeared] that the students in attendance, rather than getting up from their seats to rush to Nye’s aid, instead pulled out their mobile devices to post information about Nye’s loss of consciousness.

Date Bathe

The new trend of drugging hipsters at divebars with mild herbal sedatives, and then taking them home to bathe them without their consent and in many cases, giving them a shave, trading in those tired thrift-store threads for a wardrobe make over, and then releasing them back into to the wild before they have awakened.

Kombucha Wars

2010 was a timultous time for Kombucha and its drinkers. By the second quarter, rumours circulated the internet that Lindsay Lohan‘s SCRAM bracelet went off due to the popular beverage causing large supermarkets chains like Whole Foods to pull Kombucha from its shelves. By the summer, motivated by scarcity, kombucha lovers were stocking up with no end in site. People were brewing it in their homes (secretly in Kombucha-meth labs). I was ready to have friends ship me a mother strain in the mail. Then by the third quarter, Kombucha was reintroduced into the market place. Much to the chagrin of Kombucha enthusiasts the trace amounts of alcohol had been removed. I remember that day, because everyone in my yoga class applauded at first, but then groaned when they learned about the missing alcohol content. Now I am hearing that Erewhon in Los Angeles is carrying Kombucha with the trace amounts of alcohol in it but you need to be over 21 with an id to purchase.

Post-Vegan & Other Food Trends

Hard core vegans who start eating exotic animals and animal products: Ostrich, Buffalo, Raw Goats Milk, Sheep , Deer Antler Scrapings (for virility), Collasterum, Royal Bee Jelly (not beegan), and Red Ants who have ingested Ginseng.

IN: Reishi Mushrooms, Black Mica Water, Irish Moss, Superfoods with Judeo Christian undertones (St. Oregano Oil, Holy Basil), Pink Himalayan Baking Soda, Rawbatussan (Raw, Herbal cough syrup).
OUT: Stevia, Agave, Rice Milk, Gojji Berries, and Pomegranates (the blood diamonds of the food pyramid).

Tween Moms & Adoptive Teen Moms

In 2011 there will be an uptick in not only babies having babies, but also babies adopting babies. Spawned on by reality shows like MTV’s Teen Mom, and celebutards (like Brangelina and Madge), well-off teens and tweens with cool parents, who for whatever reason are unable to conceive (because they are too young, intersexed, sterile, haven’t had their period yet, whatever), will start adopting.

Marsian is a Los Angeles puppet artist, chanteuse, taste-maker, and high-art drag personality, whose work teeters on the precipice of cute and abject and is informed by breaking news, tabloid lore and popular culture, sprinkled with a heavy dose of cyber-spirituality. Marsian’s shows, Growing Up Linda and Bride of Wildenstein – The Musical have toured nationally and internationally. Marsian is also an advocate of contemporary puppetry and manages the Puppet Slam Network.

The Feast of Fun podcast (formerly titled “Feast of Fools”) is a Chicago, Illinois-based talk show hosted by Fausto Fernós and Marc Felion that showcases celebrity guests, artists, musicians, actors, and members of the LGBT community and those who support them. A typical program will include one or more of a number of features, including roundtable discussions, unusual news and social trends, LGBT issues, comedy, music, food and cocktail recipes, or interviews. Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois. Feast of Fun grew out of an audio blog to promote the live show

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