Well the collages, in a sense, even though they’re about other women who were vulnerable models and struggling to earn a living even prostituting themselves from the 1850’s, because that was the only way they could earn a living, besides maybe teaching or being a housewife, at a farm or a ranch but that was their sole sense of survival, the ones that chose that or it was or it was chosen for them, because of the abuser, probably abuse… But these are in a sense, self portraits […]
Yeah yeah – cause they transcend porn. To me they’re not pornographic, they’re erotic, certainly, but they go a lot deeper […] Well since childhood, I – I had an attraction for women, girls and boys. So that never left me, but I suppressed it a lot… and I experienced gay bashing when I was older.. and had to go into the closet and then would go in and out of the closet depending on what was happening and there was also a big taboo in the industry, where you couldn’t talk about these deep things that were happening.. And also, this was prior – way prior to the #metoo movement, the things I went through and other child actors… so – so does that explain it? because…
I’ve always had a strong connection.. like I said before with pinups and animals and I work intuitively, but I also do a lot of research and I’m very emotionally involved in the work… also with painting.. Many years ago, I took an acid trip and the buildings were melting and beautiful colors and I never forgot that. That image which stayed for so many hours and just kept going and going and going until the acid left my body.. But I never forgot it. And then when I started painting all these years later, it was like I was going through the same experience, but not on the drug of LSD. It was just in my body and coming out that way and that’s – it’s a spiritual thing, but it’s also emotional for me. Making my work is very emotional and it also helps me with auditions and my acting as well. They feed each other… Okay, so that’s my answer.
Video: Cesar Delgadillo, Photos: Track 16, Sean Meredith